Struggling to be Healed
Genesis 32:22-32
Emmanuel Baptist Church; Rev. Kathy Donley
May 18, 2025
Image: Israel by Mike Moyers at mikemoyersfineart.com
Note: A recording of the worship service in which this sermon was preached may be found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z7DmMZtlem8
This story of Jacob wrestling in the night is one of the iconic stories of Genesis. It is very familiar to most of us. Despite its ancient context and details that seem irrelevant (like the origins of certain dietary practices), this is a story that we can relate to – a story of alienation and fear, struggle and perseverance.
It has been a while since we’ve explored Jacob’s life together and this is far from the only interesting incident in his life. So . . . a bit of background:
You might remember that Jacob has a twin brother named Esau. Esau was born just minutes ahead of Jacob, so Esau is the older brother. The two brothers have never gotten along. Twenty years before today’s story, Jacob tricked his dying father into giving him the blessing meant for Esau, the first-born. When Esau found out, he swore he would kill Jacob after their father died. So, Jacob ran far away to his Uncle Laban’s home.
Over the last twenty years, he has married Laban’s two daughter, Leah and Rachel and fathered several children. He left home poor, with little more than the clothes on his back. Now he is wealthy with flocks and herds of cattle, donkeys, sheep and goats. His success is due to his deception and fraud. He has been systematically breeding and stealing Laban’s sheep out from under him. Laban has begun to figure that out. One day, while Laban is away, Jacob gathers his family and everything he owns and flees.
He is headed for home, but he remembers Esau’s angry vow to kill him. Esau is likely still as mad and set on revenge as he ever was. Jacob’s scouts have brought back the news that Esau is coming to meet him with 400 men. That only increases his fear.
Jacob sends his family across the river, presumably to safety, and remains alone. He is worried about Esau. Maybe this will be the last night of his life. He is probably also feeling guilt and regret for what he did to his brother, for breaking his father’s heart, for abandoning his mother, for so many things. And in the darkness, while he is alone and defenseless, someone jumps him.
Sometimes his opponent is described or portrayed as an angel. But the Hebrew clearly says “man”, not angel, not God. So with whom is Jacob wrestling? Maybe, at first he thinks it is Esau. Maybe he is wrestling with himself.
Perhaps you have known this kind of experience. You have been up all night, struggling with your fears, worried about the future or your children or someone else you love. This kind of wrestling often happens at crisis points, times of difficult decisions, of loss or anticipated loss. Whoever it is, Jacob is never one to give up easily and they wrestle all night long. Along the way, Jacob comes to believe that this is not Esau he is fighting. It is God.
A friend of mine shared with me the story of her darkest hour. After a 3-martini lunch, her husband caused a car accident in which a young woman was seriously injured. The young woman was in the hospital for a long time, and it weighed very heavily on the man. As the year progressed, he spiraled ever deeper into depression. Then the young woman died, and my friend’s husband took his own life. A tragic situation, filled with unbearable grief for two families. The night after her husband died, my friend could not sleep. Alone, she stayed awake all night watching the sky. In her despair, she was not even sure that the sun would rise again. Only when the sunrise came, and she had survived the night, did she feel that she could go on. She said to me, “I just had to get through that night. I had to see the sun rise again.” Those words were the closest she could come to describing her own wrestling match.
We all face those times, those turning points brought on by grief, or tragedy or crisis, and sometimes even by new positive opportunities. They seem to be an unavoidable part of life. I would like to believe that in those crisis moments, God is present to hold us, to comfort us, but what if there’s more? What if God is also present to redeem us, to encourage us to keep on wrestling, to push for better answers? What if the path through the struggle is also the path to transformation?
Barbara Brown Taylor says, “No one in their right mind asks to be attacked, frightened, wounded. And yet, that is how it comes sometimes, the presence and blessing of God. Sometimes if comes in the middle of the night, in the desperate wrestling that is – who would have thought it? – the answer to all our prayers.”[1]
Sometimes it happens like that. And sometimes, it doesn’t. This event in Jacob’s life has been decades in the making. We don’t get to choose when it happens.
At the beginning of the movie Shadowlands, C.S. Lewis lectures confidently on the problem of evil. "Suffering is the megaphone through which God gets our attention," he tells his students. Lewis speaks as one who has all the answers, because he’s never struggled with the questions. At the close of the movie, Lewis’ wife has died of cancer. Lewis knows that he needs to talk to her son, Douglas, to try to offer a comforting word. He decides to tell the boy about his own mother’s death. Lewis says, "When I was about your age my mother got sick and I prayed so hard for her to get well." Douglas interrupts, "It doesn’t work. Does it?" For what looks like the first time Lewis isn’t sure how to answer. Finally he begins to cry, "No. It doesn’t work." Out of a grief, a struggle, a wrestling match, beyond anything that he imagined, Lewis finds his way to a faith that has been through the fire.
Along towards dawn, God puts Jacob’s hip out of joint, but even then Jacob will not quit. Jacob didn’t start this fight, but now he is in it to win it. Though his pain, he says, “I will not let go unless you bless me.” And God the wrestler says, “What is your name?”
The last time Jacob asked for a blessing, twenty years ago, it was from his father Isaac. And Isaac had said, “who are you?” “Tell me your name” How many times had Jacob replayed that scene in his mind? How many times had he been unable to sleep, up in the middle of the night, rethinking that decision, remembering that he had said he was Esau.
And now here it is again,
Bless me.
What is your name?
The same scene again, except this time, he says, “Jacob . . . I am Jacob. . . bless me.”
Roberta Hestenes asks, “What is it that Jacob wanted more than anything else in life? What is it that we, in the deepest longings of our being, want more than anything else in life?”
She answers, “Sometimes we don't even know how to put our longings into words. But the word for Jacob was the word "blessing". I want to know the smile of God. I want to know the favor of God. I want to know that what I am doing with my life is pleasing to the one who made me, that my life has purpose and significance that honors the God that has called me and made promises to me.”[2]
The blessing that God gives comes in the form of a new name. A name that recognizes who Jacob has always been and still is. It represents Jacob’s capacity for struggling well. If Jacob had not struggled and prevailed, there would have been no new name, at least not the name Israel. Israel may mean actually something like God rules, God preserves, or God protects, but for the narrator of this story, it means “One who struggles with God”, “the God-wrestler.”
Jacob leaves this encounter with a new name which may reflect a new self-understanding. He also leaves with a limp. Blessing comes with a cost. Maybe this text suggests that “we cannot solve the contentious issues of our times until we wrestle with God and hold on to God for dear life. For without God’s blessing, the problems of humanity will simply overwhelm us, leaving us angry and terrified.”[3]
Jacob/Israel limps away, knowing that he has found favor with God. The first thing he does is to cross the river and join his family. And then he sees that Esau is coming and he goes out to meet him. It is probably the gutsiest thing he has have done – going out to meet the powerful brother that he cheated and betrayed.
Unexpectedly, Esau runs to him, embraces him and they weep together. It is the reunion that both of them need. Esau forgives Jacob. Jacob/Israel is able for the first time to see his brother without resentment, fear or guilt. He says to him, “Seeing your face is like seeing the face of God.” God’s blessing shows itself as brotherly love, as acceptance of a former enemy.
Now I don’t want to tie things up too neatly here. It is not the case that Israel’s life is smooth sailing after this one night of wrestling and receiving God’s blessing. Esau forgives him, but the brothers soon part ways and settle in different regions again. There will still be much pain in Jacob/Israel’s life, including his daughter’s rape and the loss of his favorite son. Don’t hear me implying that finding favor with God puts you on Easy Street, because that is not the Biblical story.
I suspect that many of us feel like we are currently engaged in the struggle. This is a time of wrestling, not resolution. The way to fulfilling our deepest longings will involve pain, bruises and brokenness. We may find ourselves utterly alone . . . like my grieving friend waiting for the sun to rise, . . . like Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane, praying “let this cup pass from me” and “thy will be done”, . . . caught between our human limitations and the good purposes God is working out in our lives.
But if we can invest ourselves in the struggle, if we make ourselves available for God’s blessing, we may find something within us healed or strengthened. We may find a new name, something that blesses and values who we already are. We may find a new courage and determination, a new honesty, or a willingness to be open to what we have long feared. We may see a long-lost sibling and find the face of God. I suggest that we keep offering our lives to God. The life God offers back will have both blessing and injury. We will struggle, but God will struggle alongside us, until we see the sunrise and know that we have survived the night. Amen.
[1] Barbara Brown Taylor, “Striving with God” in Gospel Medicine, (Lanham, Maryland: Cowley Publications, 1995), p. 108
[2] Roberta Hestenes, Wrestling with God, aired on Thirty Good Minutes, December 3, 1995 http://www.csec.org/csec/sermon/hestenes_3910.htm
[3] Stan Mast, https://cepreaching.org/commentary/2020-07-27/genesis-3222-31-2/